Why is it that we as women often approach a relationship with the mindset that we have to prove something to a man…that we have to earn his love and affection? We jump through hoops and try to do the impossible all to earn the love and attention of a man who never had any true intentions of pursuing us. No more ladies…no more. As single women, are focus needs to be on becoming the woman God created us to be. We are not called to pursue a man. We are called to be a woman of God, a daughter of the King. I get it…I understand that being single is not always easy, especially when everyone around you is getting in relationships, getting engaged and married. We have to remember that God has not forgotten about us. If you have the desire to be married, God placed that desire in your heart and He will fulfill that desire. He will not leave you hanging.
Numbers 23:19, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?”
That’s the amazing thing about the God we serve, He is a good God and He desires to do good to us. If He has placed a desire in your heart, He is going to fulfill that desire, but it will be in His perfect timing. Those relationships you are pursuing, are those God approved relationships? Did God show you that man was the one He has for you? Or did you just take matters into your own hands? One thing I know for sure is that God is not a God of confusion. When God brings you the man He has for you, you will know it…it will be crystal clear. That man will pursue you like his life depended on it because he will not want to risk losing you. The perfect example of this is Adam and Eve.
Genesis 2: 15, 18-24, “The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it…
Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.’At last!’ the man exclaimed. ‘This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’
My pastor taught on these verses before and put things into perspective. Basically, before God brought Eve into Adam’s life, Adam had to get a job (hello, a man can’t provide for his family if he doesn’t have a j. o. b.). We also see that it’s God who said it’s not good for man to be alone. Adam and Eve had no say in this. We also see that God is the one who determined when Eve would come into Adam’s life. Once again, Adam and Eve were not the ones in control, God was in control. Lastly, where is Eve in all of this? Is she trying to woo Adam or prove anything to him? Nope. She didn’t come into the picture until God brought her into the picture. Our job as women is to pursue the calling God has given us and become the women He has called us to be. Take this time to become the type of woman that attracts the type of man you desire (godly, pursuing his God given calling, etc.). Work on becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. Yes, that woman sounds perfect; however, she has excellent qualities as a woman of God, a wife, and a mother that we should strive for.
I was reading an article one day, and the author said something that really put things in perspective for me. They said, “This type of woman [Provers 31 woman] can only be revealed by God, and He will only do this when it is the right time. She is hidden by the Father because He loves her, and He wants a great man for her.” This is something I read every night as a reminder and encouragement. I love the fact that God has me hidden. I love having such an amazing Heavenly Father that seeks to protect me, that seeks to be my covering. You see, God is not going to let any relationship that’s not of Him work out. If that’s not the man He has for you, then honey it’s not going to work. The more you try to take matters into your own hands, the more heartache you’re going to end up with. Rest in God. Allow Him to prepare you and your future husband and simply don’t worry about it.