A Life Changing Experience

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This year I had the privilege of attending the 2014 Pinky Promise Conference, which was beyond incredible. For those of you who do not know what Pinky Promise is, it is an organization created by Heather Lindsey in which she encourages women to pursue Jesus and lead a holy, pure life (i.e., save yourself for marriage). It’s also a sisterhood for women to uplift and encourage one another in their Christian walk. It’s a remarkable organization with an anointed leader. If you haven’t already, check out the website www.pinkypromisemovement.com

The Lord put it on my heart to share with you all my experience at the conference and all that He ministered to me. Let me just say that every single woman that attended that conference left a changed woman. I mean the way that God showed up…the way that His Presence fell on that place…we could not help but leave there changed! All of the speakers were phenomenal and truly allowed the Holy Spirit to lead them. Heather said she’s going to post the videos of the speakers on her site so when you get a chance, definitely go check it out.

On Friday and Saturday morning of the conference, we had quiet time. Quiet time was truly a life changing experience for me…God really ministered to me. During quiet time, all the women met in the ballroom to pray (either individually or in groups) while worship music played in the background. During quiet time, God began to reveal my heart to me…He began to show me some unforgiveness in my heart that I was unaware of because I suppressed it…He began to reveal somethings to me about myself that were not easy to accept. You see, I thought that I had my Christ walk together…don’t get me wrong, I knew I was far from perfect, but there were certain things like unforgiveness that I was sure I wasn’t struggling with…boy oh boy was I wrong! God ministered to me about friendships. A few years ago, I was part of a ministry in which a couple of my siblings in Christ hurt and disappointed me. I thought I had forgiven those individuals, but in reality I forced them and those hurts they inflicted to the back of my mind so that I wouldn’t have to think about it. I didn’t realize it, but because I didn’t lay them and the pain I felt at the feet of Jesus, that pain kept me from allowing others get close to me. This is what God told me,

“You have let past friendships that have ended badly harden your heart instead of laying those people and the pain they inflicted at My feet. Because you have held on to this pain, you have put up a barrier preventing others from getting close to you. When others try to get close to you, you hold them at a distance…you only let them get so close to you…you only let them get a glimpse of the real you in order to protect yourself from getting hurt. Although you’ve been able to protect yourself from getting hurt, it was at the expense of some rich and rewarding fellowship and friendships.”

That absolutely wrecked my heart…I honestly did not realize I was doing that, but the more that I thought about it, the more I could see how I did shut people out in order to keep myself from getting hurt again. I just began to cry out to God…pour my heart out to Him, asking Him to help me truly give the past to Him and move forward so that I can experience the friendships He meant for me to have. I asked Him to show me what to do to change and He gave me my answer the next day during quiet time. That next day we were asked to pray and intercede for others so we got into groups of two and more. I got into a group with 3 other women in which we prayed for one another. As we were praying, I could feel a heaviness on one of the women. I tried to ignore it, but the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me so I asked the Holy Spirit what He wanted me to do about it. He told me to go and put my arm around her. Now, for those who know me, y’all know that is way out of my comfort zone. I’m one of the least affectionate people…I wasn’t always that way, but, as mentioned before, my barriers I put up around me kept me from being affectionate. Anyway, I started trying to convince the Holy Spirit that He did not want me to go and put my arm around this woman. I was like, “Holy Spirit, are You sure You don’t want me to just pray for her? Prayer is very powerful!” If you have never experienced the Holy Spirit tugging on your heart, this is how it feels: it’s like a nagging pulling that you can feel all the way to the depths of your soul…it’s a relentless tug…you have no peace or rest until you do what the Holy Spirit has told you to. So now I couldn’t just go back to praying and interceding because I could not even focus! Finally, I put aside my fears and concerns, and scooted myself next to that woman and put my arm around her. As soon as I did that, one of the other women in our group came and started praying for the woman. The woman broke down crying, but it was okay because she had her sisters in Christ there to uplift and comfort her. Now just imagine if I hadn’t obeyed the Holy Spirit. Would the other woman have come over and started praying? What about the woman who was hurting? Would she have left quiet time with that heaviness on her heart? While I was comforting my sister in Christ, the Lord began to minister to me again,

“The remedy to a hardened heart and breaking down barriers is helping and comforting others as I lead you, My child. You must walk in obedience. Obedience allows Me to shape and mold you into the woman I have called you to be. It is through that obedience that you submit to My will for you.”

Just imagine if I hadn’t obeyed the Holy Spirit? Do you think God would have still given me that revelation? I doubt it…or I would have gotten it much later. For those of you reading this, I don’t know what your situation is or what you are going through, but if you have any unforgiveness in your heart, lay it at the feet of Jesus. If you are unsure of whether or not you have unforgiveness in your heart, let me help you out…you know that friend that betrayed you, how do you feel when you see a post from them on Facebook or Instagram? Does anger flare up inside of you? Do you start to think negatively about that person? Then, yes you have unforgiveness in your heart. Maybe it’s not unforgiveness in your heart…maybe fear is holding you back…lay it at the feet of Jesus. 1 Peter 5:7, “Give all your worries and cares to God,  for He cares about you.” God cares about every single aspect of your life. He cares about when you are hurting, but He doesn’t want you to  hold on to those hurts allowing them to harden your heart. A hardened heart prevents you from feeling and if you can’t feel, how in the world are you supposed to have relationships and friendships? Give all that hurt to God and allow Him to mend your broken heart…let Him make you whole again, and as the Holy Spirit leads you to do something, walk in obedience. Your obedience will allow God to do great and mighty things in your life.

 

 

 

 

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