“In the fall, Satan deceived Eve when she had a craving to worship herself over God. She doubted God’s promises, thinking if she could just get control of her circumstances, she might be better off. Very quickly her circumstances only got worse.”
This excerpt is from my daily devotional Risen Motherhood by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler. Emily and Laura are referring to Genesis 3:8 after Adam and Eve ate fruit from the tree God instructed them not to eat from. After eating the fruit, their eyes were opened to the fact that they were naked. When they heard God walking in the garden, they decided to hide themselves so He wouldn’t see their nakedness (read Genesis 3:1-9).
Each time I have read Genesis 3, I have mostly paid attention to Eve’s disobedience. I never viewed her disobedience as her seeking control in her life. But reading this devotional opened my eyes. I have always been one to try to control my circumstances. In reality I know that I can’t control everything and my need to try to control a situation only makes it worse; however, that urge and desire to try to control the situation seems to trump logic.
Today our world is facing a situation that none of us can control. In just a matter of months everything has changed. For the US, it was a matter of weeks when everything changed so drastically. We are all faced with so many uncertainties. Between people panic buying items we need on a daily basis to people struggling with the concept of “staying home” to people walking in fear that at any moment them or someone they love will contract the corona virus, we all feel a loss of control in our lives.
I’m currently 9 months pregnant with my first child. Prior to getting pregnant, I always had a specific vision for my pregnancy. I would have a baby shower so that I could celebrate with friends and loved ones. I knew that I was going to take maternity pictures and even had an idea for the type of gown I would wear. There was no question about having my husband and my mom at the hospital with me as my support people, and having my dad and best friend come visit after the delivery. A newborn shoot was also a must. Fast forward to today and all of those hopes and dreams I had for my first pregnancy have literally been tossed out the window. My baby shower and maternity shoot had to be canceled. The hospital I’m delivering at has, as of now, made it so that there can only be one support person. I can have no visitors following my son’s birth. There’s a huge possibility that I will have to cancel my newborn shoot. Everything that I thought I had control over has literally been ripped out of my hands.
I have to be honest, my initial reaction was anger. I was so mad at God because I did not understand why He would allow me to get pregnant when He knew all of this was going to happen. In my mind He knew what my plan was, He knew what my vision was for my pregnancy. I then went into a period of depression. I was so consumed with how I was feeling, how I no longer felt any control, how what I thought was supposed to be one of the most joyful periods in my life was now a complete disaster.
I have finally worked through those emotions and can honestly say that I have clarity. For me personally, this global pandemic is forcing me to relinquish control and to rely solely on God.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV) comes to mind “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
When I first began to lose control of my vision for my pregnancy, I could not see what God was trying to do. It literally took a season of chaos to cause me to release the grasp I’ve had on my life and lay it at the feet of Jesus. I still don’t know what all God has planned for me during this season and I don’t understand it all. What I do know is that my little plans are nothing in comparison to what God has planned for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV), “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I believe this is what God wanted Eve to understand before she ate the fruit. But sadly because she took matters into her own hands, she wasn’t able to find out what God’s plans were for her. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be like Eve. I don’t know what’s best for me, but God does. I choose to trust Him and relinquish all control to Him both now and forever.
What will you choose today? Will you continue to try to grasp onto the little control you have while making even more of a mess of your life? Or will you let it go and let God take over so that you can start living your best life?