Praying Over Your Spouse

I never fully understood how crucial my prayers over my husband were until about a week ago. It was a Tuesday morning a little before 7 in the morning when my phone started ringing. I saw that it was my husband calling, which I thought was odd since he should’ve been almost to work by then. When I answered the phone, he proceeded to tell me he was in a car accident. This was a serious accident and his car was in very bad shape (two tires were blown out, the left side of his car was scratched, the side mirror was broken, the suspension was bent, and more damage). It was by the grace of God that he walked away without a scratch or an ache in his body. You see every morning I pray over my husband. I pray over his safety and for traveling mercies for him as he drives to and from his destination. I truly believed that those prayers covered him during that accident.

Although praying over your spouse’s safety is critical, it shouldn’t be the only area of your spouse’s life that you pray over. One of the blessings of allowing God to write your love story is that you end up marrying your best friend. When your spouse is your best friend, they will open up to you and share with you their struggles as well as their goals and dreams. This will allow you to pray over those struggles and stand in agreement with your spouse on those things they are trusting God to do in their life. Last week I saw that my husband was under a lot of stress. I decided to lay hands on him. I placed my hands on his head while praying specifically over his mind and I laid my hands on his body and prayed over his body. That is what you are called to do as a spouse. You lift your husband or wife up in prayer, you lay hands on them, you take authority over the situation, and you rebuke the enemy.

There is just something so intimate and so beautiful about laying hands on your spouse and praying over them. I honestly feel that it builds an even stronger bond in your marriage and further reinforces your marriage against the attacks of the enemy. Husband and wives, you should pray with one another daily. This is so important in marriage. The enemy hates godly marriages and seeks to destroy any and all marriages. So pray over one another in your personal time with God and pray together daily.

The Holiday Season

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The holiday season can be a tough time for singles. You see family that you haven’t seen for most of the year and the first question out of their mouths is “when are you getting married?” or “are you seeing anyone?”. When you respond that it’s all in God’s timing and that you aren’t seeing anyone right now, you can see the disappointment in their eyes even if they don’t verbalize it or they may verbalize it, such as, “you’re not getting any younger” or “you’re biological clock is ticking”. Deep down you know your family means well, but hearing these things get old and sometimes downright discouraging. What’s worse is that you get that random “Happy Thanksgiving” text or “Merry Christmas” text from your ex that you haven’t spoken to in weeks, months, or maybe a few years. If you’re like me, you’re just like “really!?!?!?!” *rolls eyes*

This happened to me yesterday. Back in October I started dating this amazing guy. He literally was the whole package. Most importantly, I finally decided to do things God’s way. I prayed about him and did not do anything until I heard from God. For once in my life, I did not let my emotions guide me in the relationship, I let the Holy Spirit guide me. Everything was going great until the guy started changing. He literally did a 360 on me. I didn’t understand it. In the past when I was trying to do things my way, I would be quick to think that I could “fix” whatever was wrong with the person and try to make it work. This time I prayed about it and the Lord led me to confront him. After confronting him, everything went down hill from there. I didn’t understand it because I did things God’s way. I decided to end things even though it hurt. Now that I look back on it, that brief relationship showed me how much I have grown and how far God has brought me, and I honestly believe that is why God allowed this brief relationship. I submitted everything to God during that time, I was led by the Holy Spirit, and I did not compromise in anyway, which was a huge deal for me (see my testimony to find out all that God has delivered me from).

Okay, so back to the present. Starting last week, I kept getting this feeling that my ex was going to text me on Thanksgiving. I talked to God about it and was basically like “Lord, don’t let him text me. Even though I have moved past that situation and I have forgiven him, I’m not sure if I will respond in a Christ-like manner”. The days leading up to Thanksgiving, I kept telling the Holy Spirit that this must be some kind of joke, like this man is not bold enough to text me. Well, Thanksgiving arrived and I got that “Happy Thanksgiving text.”

Before I go any further into the story, let me break down the “Happy [insert holiday]” text from an ex. The holidays tend to make singles who aren’t content in their singleness lonely. They get to thinking about their exes and start thinking that maybe they made a mistake or they simply just don’t want to be alone. The “Happy [insert holiday]” text is a way of opening up that door to reel you back into a relationship you had no business in to begin with or that God ended for a specific reason. You see it doesn’t end at the Happy [insert holiday] text. It then goes to “how are you”, “are you seeing anyone”, “I miss you”. And then you find yourself in that dysfunctional relationship once again. So, how do you respond to a text like that?

I’m glad you asked. My response was simply “No”. You see the word “No” is a powerful word. It may be a small word, but it holds so much meaning. When I responded “No”, I was telling him “No, you can’t come back in my life without an apology and act like everything is okay.” “No, you don’t have a right to tell my Happy Thanksgiving after how you mistreated me.” “No, I don’t want to talk to you.” Just by saying “No” I felt so empowered. You see for once in my life I didn’t let my emotions rule me. For once in my life I wasn’t desperate for a man or his attention. For once in my life I finally saw myself through God’s eyes and knew my worth and knew that I deserve so much better, that I deserve God’s very best.

That’s what you have to do when your ex tries to pop back into your life during the holidays (or tries to come back in your life at any point). God has someone so incredibly amazing for you, someone who will love you as He loves you, but how can God bring you that person if you keep running back to your ex every time they come texting or calling you? If that position next to you is filled, God can’t bring you your mate. It’s that simple. Saying “No” is not easy, but it’s so worth it. Know your worth.

“…for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.”-Psalm 139:14

You were created by the all powerful God. You are one of His marvelous works. That means you are worth so much. Most of all, Jesus Christ died on the cross for you. The fact that someone so perfect, holy, righteous, amazing, and so much more, as Jesus died for you tells you alone that you are worth so much! Embrace your worth in Christ. Don’t settle for less. Wait on God and He will bring you His best.

I can honestly say that I thank God for using this relationship to show me how much I’ve grown in Him and how far He has brought me. I remember how I used to be, how I used to be so desperate for a man to want and love me. I’m not that person anymore. I have Jesus who loves me unconditionally and honestly that is more than enough for me. As long as I have Him, I am good. Now don’t get me wrong, I still desire a spouse and I know that one day, in God’s perfect timing, He will fulfill that desire. The key is to wait on God. Don’t take matters into your own hands and don’t settle. If you get an uneasy feeling about someone, listen to the Holy Spirit. It will save you heartache. If you’re dating someone who is trying to get you to contradict God’s word, run with the quickness! If you’re dating someone who isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then drop them. The enemy will send so many counterfeits during your season of singleness. In order to not fall for these counterfeits, you have to be on one accord with God. Your relationship with God has to be first and foremost. Pursue God like never before and He will show you that person’s heart and intentions. I’m not saying that the person that God has for you will be perfect because none of us are perfect. However, if this person has you sad or crying more than happy or smiling, then they are not the one for you. Relationships are supposed to add to your life not take from your life. Stick close to God and be about His business, and He will allow everything else to fall into place.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” -Matthew 6:33

Don’t Settle

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(Originally Posted January 7, 2012)

Isaiah 4:1,

“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread and provide our own apparel; only let us be called by your name to take away our reproach [of being unmarried].”

Whenever I read this scripture, it wrecks my heart. This is exactly what’s going on in the world today. We as women are so desperate for a man that we settle for any old thing. It doesn’t matter if he’s already in a relationship, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have anything going for himself, or it doesn’t even matter if he’s saved. We just settle for any man just to say that we have one. I hate this so much! I see so many beautiful women with so much going for themselves settling for any man that comes their way. You see, I expect this from the world, but when I see one of my sisters in Christ doing this…it breaks my heart. It’s like we have forgotten who we are in Christ. 

 

Psalm 139:14,

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” 

 

It’s like we have forgotten the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that we are one of God’s marvelous works, that we are one of His precious jewels. I know it’s hard not to settle, especially when everyone around us is starting a relationship. However, settling for less than God’s best is just wrong. God created each and every woman for a certain man. When God created you and me, He had a particular man in mind as He shaped and formed us with His very hands. Isn’t that amazing!?!?!?! Yes, waiting for that man to arrive may be taking longer than we want, but hey all that means is that God is still working on us and the man He has for each of us. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the man that God has for me arriving any sooner than he’s supposed to. I want to be ready when he arrives and I want him to be ready as well. So yeah, it may take a while, but the waiting is a good time to develop patience. God revealed to me that the waiting is an important period. You see, if we can’t wait for the man to arrive, then what are we going to do when he does finally arrive and we are ready to get married? Are we going to hound him about proposing? Are we going to leave not so subtle hints? See, waiting is very important. But most important of all about the waiting period is that it gives us time to truly fall in love with Jesus and develop a close, intimate relationship with Him. That’s the most crucial period because if we don’t know how to love Jesus, then we definitely won’t know how to love our future husband.